Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
