I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize