the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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