Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
