im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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