Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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