Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize