How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
