I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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