Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
