If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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