You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
