just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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