Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
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