this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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