I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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