you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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