he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
