Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
