just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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