it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
