Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
