I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
