She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
