Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize