How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
