a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
