Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
