He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize