I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
