My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
