hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
