As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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