just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
