I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
