can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
