I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
