I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
