Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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