What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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