I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
