I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you would pick up someone in the library
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
