dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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