it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
