omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
