I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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