i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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