..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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