are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
