The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize