Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
this hospital has no fireball
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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