So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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