Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
