i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize