there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
