smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
