He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I enjoy the company of your penis
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
