okay pat passed out under dana's car
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
