my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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