So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
